Spliffington Allstar News

Return of The Big Mac

2008-01-28T14:52:00.000-08:00

this,

is a test. its 2008 now kids....we have moved on.

=)

Very Scary Shit Ladies & Gents

2005-01-07T04:57:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to one & All, after an extensive Xmas lay-off the first post of the new year is a mighty scary one. Now according to a growing number of 'Christians', the existence of Dinosaurs has recently come into contention. According to them, the earth can only be 6000 years old (cos the Bible sez so !) soooooooo, Dinosaurs cannot possibly have existed millions of years ago & all scientists are 'God-Haters'. Here is how the misguided morons actually try to justify this...

Baaaaarking Mad God Squad

Now considering these people are the backbone of the current US administration's voting public and therefore control a rather large section of the World's only true super-power - I believe it is time to start shiting ourselves....Be afraid...

It's A Conspiracy !!!

2004-11-19T06:29:00.000-08:00

Well, the yanks are at it again, this conspiracy theory is quite interesting though, on a par with who shot JFK ? Take a squint & you decide !

Who Shot The Pentagon !?

A Years Worth of Chavs !

2004-11-01T05:57:00.000-08:00

It might be a little late, I am soooooo disappointed that I didn't discover this earlier in the year, but those lovely crusaders at Chavscum.co.uk have made a calendar - a real bevvy of beauties I'm sure you'll agree !?

Burberry Heaven

I Bet a Bird Parked That !

2004-10-26T01:40:00.000-07:00

Things are a little quiet on the Internet Interest Initiative...

Here's a little interlude for all you guys n girls. >>> Park Here

Y'Gotta Love Those Crazy Japanese !!?

2004-10-16T06:10:00.000-07:00

Beats the shite out of Rolf's Animal Hospital

And something for the man that has 'Everything'

Cool Sites I'd like to thank !

2004-10-15T04:18:00.000-07:00

The Good Old Brown Haze ! The inspiration behind this site I believe ! many thanks to Stuart for introducing me to Dogging...

The Brown Haze

Also plagiarised from TBH, most excellent web site of :

Flip Flop Flyin - worth spending a couple of hours on...

Last but by no means least, thanks once again to Stu (my boss will really like to thank you personally) heres B3ta .com, once you pop ...

B3ta - see questions of the week, you have been warned !

Angry Young Man !!??

2004-10-15T04:07:00.000-07:00

Very amusing (well I think so) web site of possibly the most oppionated young man in Cyberspace, if nothing else he might make that vein on the side of your head throb !

Meet Maddox

Rupert or Rodney ?

2004-10-11T21:30:00.000-07:00

Take the (middle) Class Test

Boredboredboredboredboredbored

2004-10-11T13:46:00.000-07:00

Boss away for the day ? We all have to 'skive to survive' sometimes, this one keeps me amused for hours ! I can highly recommend Stick Cricket, Camperstrike & Euro 2004 Volley - keeps you amused 'till the home time bell rings... >CLICK !<

eBay City Rollers

2004-10-08T04:06:00.000-07:00

Nice little ditty for all you ebay fans out there, best with sound...

Buy Buy Baby

Curry n Chips Combat Styles

2004-10-08T03:09:00.000-07:00

An instructional video on the forgotten and ancient art of Anglo Saxon hand to hand combat.

Come n 'ave a go if you think yer 'ard enough !!!

More Chav Bashing Stuff !

2004-10-07T04:13:00.000-07:00

Another great Chav expression is 'The Croydon Facelift' - pulling the hair so tight into a top knot, it actually stretches the skin & gives the impression of a face lift !!

BTW : did you know the female Chav is known as a Mort ??

Check out Chav Rant

Where's Yer Fuckin' Tool ?

2004-10-01T04:45:00.000-07:00

Anyone remember Carlin ?

A Little Something For The Weekend Sir ?

2004-10-01T02:40:00.000-07:00

Hey kids, do try this at home ! All the questions you ever wanted answered, and much, much more...

I don't promote it - I just encourage it !

The Vaults of Erowid

Mutiny on the Bounty ?

2004-10-01T01:51:00.000-07:00

Irrespective of what's currently in the news about this place, the web site is quite fascinating ! Where else in the world could 'Nigger Brown' be an acceptable name ?

Pitcairn Island

Beats The Shite Out of KelKoo

2004-09-30T06:35:00.000-07:00

All you tight fisted people click HERE

Should Have Gone To Specsavers !!??

2004-09-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

What Are You Looking At Speccy ?

Chav Home Video Released

2004-09-28T01:52:00.000-07:00

Chavs, love 'em or hate 'em. Well, lets face it - we hate 'em - even those who profess to be one !!!
Check Out the 'Home' movie

Chav Home Movie

And lets not forget the classic...

Chav Scum

Seth Gecko's Tattoo - Dusk Til Dawn.

2004-09-27T07:52:00.000-07:00

Apparently, extremely difficult to find an image on the net, I've saved you the bother...

Seth Gecko's Tat.

Now this IS a good letter !

2004-09-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

This letter (from the Inland Revenue) was sent in by a reader of The Guardian, who printed it on 27/9/03...
Absolute classic!...

Dear Mr Addison,

I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise.

I will address them, as ever, in order.

Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last communication as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand". This is how we, at the Inland Revenue have always, for reasons of accuracy; traditionally referred to such documents.
Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the "endless stream of crapulent whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to the doormat" has been noted. However, whilst I have naturally not seen the other letters to which you refer I would cautiously suggest that their being from "pauper councils, Lombardy pirate banking houses and "pissan gas-mongerers" might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the toilet in case of emergencies is at best a little ill-advised.

In common with my own organisation, it is unlikely that the senders of these letters do see you as a lackwit bumpkin or, come to that, a "sodding charity". More likely they see you as a citizen of Great Britain, with a responsibility to contribute to the upkeep of the nation as a whole. Which brings me to my next point. Whilst there may be some spirit of truth in your assertion that the taxes you pay "go to shore up the canker-blighted, toppling folly that is the Public Services", a moment's rudimentary calculation ought to disabuse you of the notion that the government in any way expects you to "stump up for the whole damned party" yourself. The estimates you provide for the Chancellor's disbursement of the funds levied by taxation, whilst colourful, are, in fairness, a little off the mark. Less than you seem to imagine is spent on "junkets for Bunterish lickspittles" and "dancing whores" whilst far more than you have accounted for is allocated to, for example, "that box-ticking facade of a university system."

A couple of technical points arising from direct queries:

1. The reason we don't simply write "Muggins" on the envelope has to do with the vagaries of the postal system;
2. You can rest assured that "sucking the very marrows of those with nothing else to give" has never been considered as a practice because even if the Personal Allowance didn't render it irrelevant, the sheer medical logistics involved would make it financially unviable. I trust this has helped.

In the meantime, whilst I would not in any way wish to influence your decision one way or the other, I ought to point out that even if you did choose to "give the whole foul jamboree up and go and live in India" you would still owe us the money. Please forward it by Friday.

Yours Sincerely,

H J Lee
Customer Relations

Scots As An 'Ethnic Minority' Language...

2004-09-27T06:24:00.000-07:00

Maximum effect is gained by reading with a Scottish accent...

Hoots Mon - Where's Ma Heid !!?? (Mary Queen of Scots' last utterance)

How to Make Friends and Influence People - By George W Bush

2004-09-27T05:31:00.000-07:00

Lets start by:

Making Friends With Just About Anyone

Once that's been 'mastered' lets move onto:

Being a Little More Selective...

Ever Wanted to Know What NTL 'Really' Think ?

2004-09-27T03:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/09/27/ntl_recorded_message/